I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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