I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
