is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He better not be in your backpack
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
