you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
