i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize