Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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