never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize
