just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
