I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
