Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
