in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
