Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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