does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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