I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
