are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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