Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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