he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
