She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
