i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
