man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
