He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize