stop calling my apartment porn island.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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