I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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