good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
