It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
