Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
