i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
