and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
