So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The Olympian is in my bed
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
