So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
