Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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