He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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