This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
