apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think a kid would responsible me up
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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