that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
high people should be assigned attendants
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
