That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
