you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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