Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize