What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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