Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
