I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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