she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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