I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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