on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
