I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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