It's Friday. Sex?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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