Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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