I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
