If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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