I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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