Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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