eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
