my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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