if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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