I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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