Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
