Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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