OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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