Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
