3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
