Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
