Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
