I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
