Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
