Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And then my night got REAL pukey
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
