Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
