I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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