I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
