i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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