Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
our cab driver is having phone sex.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
