We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
