just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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