you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
