If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
