You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
