Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
